A-One goodness
We all know the letter “A” is an awesome letter because it’s the first letter of my name, but I’m always super sceptical when companies use the first letter of the alphabet before a trading name in order to appear at the top of telephone directories.
For example, you know that if you send your Tanzanian Liger carcass to an ‘AA’ branded taxydermist it is more than likely to return a rather sorry looking Tygon. Alpha-marketing, broadly speaking, is utilised by desperate alpha-wankers.
Therefore, picking up my first packet of A-One Pho Bo beef instant rice noodles caused more than the usual moments of trepidation that a 2-minute noodle purchase should.
For starters, the packaging was maroon and orange with pictures of cows on each side to indicate that this was indeed made from beef at some point in its life.
But one of the great lessons in life is to never judge a 2-minute noodle dish by its packaging – whoever thought of that pearl of wisdom was no doubt slurping on some A-One goodness.
A-One Pho Bo beef offers a friendly bundle of flat rice noodles, vegetable oil, beef flavouring, processed chilli and garlic sauce, and salt/sugar/pepper mix in powder form.
And if that isn’t enough, you also get enhancer E621 (aka MSG, you know you like it), E626, E630 and the underrated Antioxidant E307 – barrels of flavour for only 35p.
Add hot water and the dish doesn’t disappoint. It is a robustly flavoured pho soup that barely resembles beef and can easily be turned into something more substantial. This dish conjures up memories of happy Vietnamese children splashing about with their noodles on the flooded Meekong delta.
This bad boy has bite
Better than a ‘happy ending’
I added some pack choy, a dollop of chicken flavoured chilli oil, and the pièce de résistance – Fried Catfish with chilli from a can.
Fried catfish aside, the meal cost a smidgen under 50p. Once you add the rare canned delicacy it’ll set you back about £1.89, which you will no doubt re-earn due to your increased brain capacity and sex drive.
Just be warned, if you do opt for the canned fried catfish variation, some of the bones could get stuck in uncomfortable parts of your mouth and may require medical attention to remove. I do not recommend this for children, pregnant women and mentally challenged individuals.
Egawa Taketada, the un-Vietnamese sounding chairman of A-One parent company Saigon Ve Wong, sums it up best when he states A-One’s goal:
“To pursue the goal of ‘product quality’, making consumers feel secure when using the product, from the criteria ‘satisfy customers’.”
Amen to that. A-One, you do proud the letter ‘A’ – taxydermists take note.
Cranky Rating
Cranky in the Mouth 